Dear fellow football fans, I’m writing to you in disbelief. The conversation topic is obvious right?
It’s the creature you guys call your current manager. Normally I would never do this and I only have an account on one forum but I cannot believe what I am seeing. Well. Actually I can, because the EXACT same thing happened to us. Let’s call it the ‘the shrek effect’.
1. Welcome Wayne!
Congratulations! Your club has hired ex-superstar and world class footballer Wayne Rooney! You’re filled with pride and are instantly excited by erm the prospect of erm success.
2. Signs of hope.
You lose your first game, but hey! The goalkeeper passed the ball to another player in the 6 yard box and almost broke the oppositions press. You’re now fully invested in Wayne ball and you’re now officially ‘Wayne Rooneys Plymouth argyle’.
3. Players aren’t good enough.
Our Wayne is a legend! These players simply can’t fathom how lucky they’re. Fans will now throw all logic out the window. These players who were previously decent footballers are now sh*t. It isn’t the tactics. It isn’t the formation. It isn’t the fact Wayne can’t be bothered to show up to training because he’s hungover. It’s the players!!!
4. Delusion.
You’ve won a game!! Unbelievable. Was it from a cutting edge move? Scintillating play?? The team working for each other? No? It wasn’t? It was a moment of luck/brilliance but hey, it must be part of Wayne’s plan. This is the turning point.
5. This is not a turning point.
You continue to lose and underperform. Even your wins and draws are against the odds. Those pesky players are at it again. Rooney is now calling out those players. They’re not trying hard enough!! because of injuries (funny how all 4 clubs he’s ‘managed’ have had an injury crisis, almost like he’s not getting the players to train hard enough and players to go enjoy themselves*wink*wink*)! Cause of the fans!!
6. Realisation for some.
Traitors among us. Turning the fans against each other. You were all celebrating together side by side when you defied the odds last season. Now you’re arguing whether a man who can barely put an erm sentence together, serial cheater, drink driving liar who is bottom of the league for every major metric for you (other than actual points), is worthy to keep his job.
7. Replacement.
Sadly it’s inevitable, he has failed. He will continue to fail. He will also go on every popular podcast with his mates and slag you off as Ian Wright points and shouts “he needs more time!!!” Despite not even knowing what a Plymouth argyle is. You’ll probably thinking “ah man like what comes next? There’s nobody out there!”. I remember this well. Then Tony Mowbray came in and within 6 games hed matched Wayne’s point total. In fact if poor Tone hadn’t fallen ill I’m almost certain we’d have added 15 points to our total, but that’s done now and we’re in a healthier position.
Wait what am I going on about? Oh yeah. Wayne is without a doubt the worst manager we’ve had in recent history. He has competition from Karanka, Steve cotterill, Harry bloody Redknapp, Zola and even Lee Clarke. I had the pleasure of meeting him in an open club day where he spoke about his tactics, formation and where he wanted the club going. He might as well have said “I want them to kick the ball into the net and then we win!”.
Right then. I’m off. Slightly bored towards the end but take these words wisely:
You will be erm relegated if he stays.