One Game at a Time
Portsmouth (A) September 17th
After an impeccably observed silence, by both sets of fans, in honour of our departed monarch, followed by a full-throated rendition of the National Anthem, the Scouse Coach Derby was settled in favour of the blue corner (managerially) rather than the drab, blue in kit and performance, of Robinsons Crew who were so-so.
Robinson arrived, grudge burdened and trailing an extended injury list, almost made worse by a dreadful tackle on James Henry, this one in the warm-up by tiny Bulgarian Spasov, his teammate. With friends like these eh Karl?
It is worth noting that it was only April 2nd that we last entertained the Oxâs, and whilst the score was the same the performances (on both sides) were very different. Indeed, of the team that started that sunny day when promotion still seemed possible, only five started for Argyle last night, and one of those had to do a quick sprint to dressing room in the second half after feeling sick.
Even so, a single goal lead is never a comfortable place to be, and if the EFL ever discover how Mike Cooper is operating the Barn Park End forcefield, which this week thwarted Kyle Joseph, who seemed to miss the goal from inside the net, he might have to get his kit dirty soon. Four league clean sheets at home, eleven in the last twelve. Fortress HP is earning its nickname. And saving on laundry bills, Dannyâs early exit notwithstanding.
So, we say Happy Birthday, with Cheers to you, Mr Robinson and if the Carolean age started without Sweet Caroline, at least the end of game music summed up the birthday boyâs teams goal performance. Just Canât Get Enough.
The games however, come thick and fast though, so it is onwards and upwards for the upwardly static third place Greens as they take on what are, for now, the only two teams above them in our next two fixtures.
First up, the ever Pompous Pompey, the only team whose collective fans ego matches that of the giants of Sheffield (no not Rotherham, I have explained all this before), by trading on past glories whilst continually not pulling up trees at their current, ongoing level of football.
They do, for now, sit atop the Division though, which will undoubtedly inflate their self-regard for themselves and disregard for all the âlittle clubsâ who so irritatingly get in their way by beating them.
For the press this game will be billed as the Dockyard Derby, or perhaps the Battle of the Ports, in a way that games against Gillingham, in the shadow of Chatham Docks never have been. That naval thread has always run through the fixture, and Pompey were the club chosen by Argyle for their Golden Jubilee friendly fixture played at Home Park in 1953, when an Alex Govan goal sent the home fans home happy.
In recent seasons our fortunes have intertwined, first in League 2 where a late piece of Peter Hartley jam on top of some Graham Carey corner cream confirmed the Devon scone tradition as superior. Pompeyâs abject play-off record, of never having won a game in the semi-finals, was avenged the following season when a last game victory pipped Argyle to the title and both were promoted. And there they have remained, hostage to their inability to progress via the play offs and never quite making it to the top two.
Portsmouth origins are, like the current ground facilities at Fratton Park, their eternal home, Victorian. Formed in 1898, and, having forked out for a plot of land on Portsea Island, making them the only club in the Football league to not play their home games on the mainland, they were preceded by a local amateur team. This teamâs goalkeeper was one A C Smith, better known as the creator of Sherlock Holmes and the Lost World, local GP Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Wherever did he draw inspiration for a desolate remote hinterland stalked by violent brutish creatures? I guess we will never know. There was also a local Portsmouth Town, and the Royal Artillery (Portsmouth), whose teamâs supporters in fact were the originators of the âTown Hall Chimesâ known now as the Pompey Chimes, as well as adopting the Pompey nickname. Their team was retired after a controversy over their professionalism, and despite a brief revival at the turn of the century, Portsmouth FC took over the mantle of the towns premier club and subsumed some of the players into their squad. And the annoying song.
In 1899 Portsmouth played the first Southern league match, away at Chatham (and did they call it a dockyard derbyâŚ.no, they did not), winning 1-0, before hosting near rivals Southampton in a friendly which they also won.
Fratton Park was developed with two Archibald Leitch stands and at its maximum capacity could hold almost sixty thousand fans. Despite the founder of the club being also the owner of a local brewery and therefore incorporating a pub into the ground infrastructure, the one thing that the club didnât seem to have a major use for was a trophy cabinet. Two FA Cup final appearances came and went before a shock 4- 1 win over hot favourites Wolves in 1939 led to the club having the longest recorded spell as FA Cup holders. Admittedly this had more to do with the Second World War than their footballing skills.
Pompey traditionally play in a patriotic blue shirts, white shorts, and red socks. The idea for the switch to red socks came from Lord Montgomery of Alamein, as a way of commemorating the fallen in the Second World War. The red socks are representative of the Army but also the red poppy of remembrance. As the period after they were introduced was also Pompeyâs golden era, unsurprisingly the switch stuck. In fact, the original colours for the first Portsmouth strip were salmon pink shirts, which gave the club a secondary nickname of the Shrimps.
The post war period was the clubs golden era and winning the league in 1949 and 1950 made them only the sixth club at the time to have achieved that feat. They are also the only club to have won all four divisions, and, with having also won Division Three South before the formation of division four can boast five different divisional titles. Purchases of silver polish have declined in more recent times, despite a surprise 2008 FA Cup win over Cardiff, when long time Argyle transfer target Nwankmo Kanu scored the winner. Pompey won the cup that season conceding only one goal, a Chris Clarke thunderbolt at Fratton Park for Argyle, before turning the game around for a 2-1 win. It was the only game in Pompeyâs cup run that did not end with them winning one nil.
Unfortunately for Pompey that walk up the 39 steps was to be the beginning a dizzy spell of financial ineptitude and fraudulence which resulted in two administrations, multiple dubious owners, and a trip to the basement division. Add in a manager whose financial acumen (or in his words lack of it) entitled him to a share of the profits on player sales of which there were legion, and a nerve wracking trip to the courts to take on HMRC and explain why his dog had a bank account in Monaco, and you have a club that was heading to football hell in a handcart.
In the early 2000âs Milan Mandaric, aided and abetted by wheeler dealer âArry Redknapp had got Pompey back to the Premier League, but despite performing creditably Redknapp and Mandaric had a bust up which led to âArry walking out and joining local rivals Southampton. He was to get the Saints relegated, ironically after Pompey contrived to lose 2-0 to West Brom who thus completed their Great Escape at their rivals expense. Pure coincidence.
Redknapps replacement, Alain âReggieâ Perrin lasted almost a year but when fired, the shock replacement wasâŚ.âArry again. Perhaps unsurprisingly this was swiftly followed by the exit of Mandaric who happily passed over the ÂŁ60 million of debt he had run up going nowhere to Alexandre Gaydamak. Cue a winter shopping spree on nine new players as Sky Transfer Deadline Day had the first of many 'Arry inspired wet dreams.
The seemingly endless in and outs at Pompey resulted in their first ever top half finish, but the financial crash of 2008 had heavy implications for Gaydamak and unable to satisfy his creditors in any other way he withdrew funding from the club, began a fire sale of high earners and the most talented players and began to hunt for a buyer.
Gaydamak was later outed on that bastion of investigative journalism, the Antiques Roadshow, when it was revealed that in order to have a more minimalist boardroom he had had the antique chairs and table from the first ever British Ironclad warship HMS Warrior chucked into a skip. The builder who rescued fifteen of them had them valued at several thousand pounds each. Presumably the boardroom was painted in a nice (Jamille) Matt finish (or two).
Gaydamak's purchaser of choice was one Sulaiman Al Fahim, a billionaire spokesman for the Sheik Mansour who has just acquired Manchester City...how did that work out I wonder? Unfortunately he turned out to have nicked the deposit money from his wifeâs funds, and so fell out of the bidding. He was then sent to prison but passed the idea on to one Ali al-Faraj whose company Falcondrone took over the financing.
With a robustness only surpassed by the EFL approving Steve Dale buying Bury it came as no huge surprise to the EPL that in fact Falcondrone owed money to a company called Portpin, owned by one Balram Chanrai, a former bitter business rival of Gaydamakâs father. Are you keeping up?
Well the EPL auditors werenât, because if a bankrupt banker, two fake sheiks and debt collector werenât bad enough, said debt collector then sold the club to a Russian gangster, Vladimir (never the best sign) Antonov who shortly after taking ownership was served with a European arrest warrant for defrauding a Lithuanian bank. With debts having somehow spiralled to close to ÂŁ160 million, administration and more likely liquidation beckoned.
Chanrai reappeared, but after a fans rescue was proposed, he withdrew, and finally after years of chicanery lies and deceit the club was owned by people that cared again. With the budgets available, plus points deductions, relegation ensued and Pompey fans were consigned to the lowest level of League football. But they had a club. Whatever our rivalry we know what that threat feels like.
In 2017 the fans were approached by the Tornante Group, the investment vehicle of former Disney boss Michael Eisner and his family, and after protracted discussions a takeover bid was accepted. In an age where Hollywood and streaming money loves sport for its inbuilt audience, it made a lot of sense. Portsmouth signed up for the Disney magic. Wrexham got Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenny. Deadpool and the producer of Ted Lasso. Pompous got the bloke they might have based Lord Farquand on, the diminutive villain of the Shrek movie franchise. And the Cowley brothers.
And five years on they are pretty much where they were when they started. The ground is getting fixed, more flattened park than Fratton Park. But we know that feeling too.
Over the years we have shared some players. We had Mariner and Rafferty together, they had them separately. They nicked Norman Piper, we took James Bolton. We had Nicky Jennings, they ended up with the will oâ the wisp Alan Rogers, a winger so slight he couldnât be played if the wind went over Force 3, Gentle Breeze, on the Beaufort Scale, for fear of losing him over the popular side.
Manager wise we cannot compete with their recruitment process. They too had Pulis for a while and also Paul Hart who took over from Tony Adams, whose 16-game spell in charge was so awful his next job was in Azerbaijan! Pompey have three managers in the top 20 worst ever managers in the EPL and none of them are the worst manager in Pompeyâs history. That honour falls to Fred Cox who was the first manager to get Pompey relegated in 1959 and was fired in 1961 before he could do it again. Although they still went down. They also had a tolerance for Squeaky Ball who had two stints before heading to the noisy neighbours.
One player held in equal regard at both clubs is Chuck Norris. Indeed, in Portsmouth St Davidâs Day is celebrated on April 27th, commemorating the day he equalised in the dying minutes to deny local rivals Southampton a win, which ultimately cost them the Championship, although not promotion.
Fratton Park should hold no fears for Argyle. We have a good history there, from play-off draws, to Wylde celebrations of a late winners in the league. And let us not forget Ciderman and Kevin Summerfield, with his substitute scoring the winner with his first touch.
With the Tractor Boys at the Wendies we can go to âThe Old Girlâ as older Pompey fans still call Fratton Park and end the day on top of the pile.
The late great Dave Smith, when asked for a quote to sum up a 3-2 away win at Celtic in his spell at Dundee, came up with this from Robert Browning.
A manâs reach should exceed his grasp;
Or whatâs a Heaven for?
Zackly Ciderman, zackly. COYG!!
Portsmouth (A) September 17th
After an impeccably observed silence, by both sets of fans, in honour of our departed monarch, followed by a full-throated rendition of the National Anthem, the Scouse Coach Derby was settled in favour of the blue corner (managerially) rather than the drab, blue in kit and performance, of Robinsons Crew who were so-so.
Robinson arrived, grudge burdened and trailing an extended injury list, almost made worse by a dreadful tackle on James Henry, this one in the warm-up by tiny Bulgarian Spasov, his teammate. With friends like these eh Karl?
It is worth noting that it was only April 2nd that we last entertained the Oxâs, and whilst the score was the same the performances (on both sides) were very different. Indeed, of the team that started that sunny day when promotion still seemed possible, only five started for Argyle last night, and one of those had to do a quick sprint to dressing room in the second half after feeling sick.
Even so, a single goal lead is never a comfortable place to be, and if the EFL ever discover how Mike Cooper is operating the Barn Park End forcefield, which this week thwarted Kyle Joseph, who seemed to miss the goal from inside the net, he might have to get his kit dirty soon. Four league clean sheets at home, eleven in the last twelve. Fortress HP is earning its nickname. And saving on laundry bills, Dannyâs early exit notwithstanding.
So, we say Happy Birthday, with Cheers to you, Mr Robinson and if the Carolean age started without Sweet Caroline, at least the end of game music summed up the birthday boyâs teams goal performance. Just Canât Get Enough.
The games however, come thick and fast though, so it is onwards and upwards for the upwardly static third place Greens as they take on what are, for now, the only two teams above them in our next two fixtures.
First up, the ever Pompous Pompey, the only team whose collective fans ego matches that of the giants of Sheffield (no not Rotherham, I have explained all this before), by trading on past glories whilst continually not pulling up trees at their current, ongoing level of football.
They do, for now, sit atop the Division though, which will undoubtedly inflate their self-regard for themselves and disregard for all the âlittle clubsâ who so irritatingly get in their way by beating them.
For the press this game will be billed as the Dockyard Derby, or perhaps the Battle of the Ports, in a way that games against Gillingham, in the shadow of Chatham Docks never have been. That naval thread has always run through the fixture, and Pompey were the club chosen by Argyle for their Golden Jubilee friendly fixture played at Home Park in 1953, when an Alex Govan goal sent the home fans home happy.
In recent seasons our fortunes have intertwined, first in League 2 where a late piece of Peter Hartley jam on top of some Graham Carey corner cream confirmed the Devon scone tradition as superior. Pompeyâs abject play-off record, of never having won a game in the semi-finals, was avenged the following season when a last game victory pipped Argyle to the title and both were promoted. And there they have remained, hostage to their inability to progress via the play offs and never quite making it to the top two.
Portsmouth origins are, like the current ground facilities at Fratton Park, their eternal home, Victorian. Formed in 1898, and, having forked out for a plot of land on Portsea Island, making them the only club in the Football league to not play their home games on the mainland, they were preceded by a local amateur team. This teamâs goalkeeper was one A C Smith, better known as the creator of Sherlock Holmes and the Lost World, local GP Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Wherever did he draw inspiration for a desolate remote hinterland stalked by violent brutish creatures? I guess we will never know. There was also a local Portsmouth Town, and the Royal Artillery (Portsmouth), whose teamâs supporters in fact were the originators of the âTown Hall Chimesâ known now as the Pompey Chimes, as well as adopting the Pompey nickname. Their team was retired after a controversy over their professionalism, and despite a brief revival at the turn of the century, Portsmouth FC took over the mantle of the towns premier club and subsumed some of the players into their squad. And the annoying song.
In 1899 Portsmouth played the first Southern league match, away at Chatham (and did they call it a dockyard derbyâŚ.no, they did not), winning 1-0, before hosting near rivals Southampton in a friendly which they also won.
Fratton Park was developed with two Archibald Leitch stands and at its maximum capacity could hold almost sixty thousand fans. Despite the founder of the club being also the owner of a local brewery and therefore incorporating a pub into the ground infrastructure, the one thing that the club didnât seem to have a major use for was a trophy cabinet. Two FA Cup final appearances came and went before a shock 4- 1 win over hot favourites Wolves in 1939 led to the club having the longest recorded spell as FA Cup holders. Admittedly this had more to do with the Second World War than their footballing skills.
Pompey traditionally play in a patriotic blue shirts, white shorts, and red socks. The idea for the switch to red socks came from Lord Montgomery of Alamein, as a way of commemorating the fallen in the Second World War. The red socks are representative of the Army but also the red poppy of remembrance. As the period after they were introduced was also Pompeyâs golden era, unsurprisingly the switch stuck. In fact, the original colours for the first Portsmouth strip were salmon pink shirts, which gave the club a secondary nickname of the Shrimps.
The post war period was the clubs golden era and winning the league in 1949 and 1950 made them only the sixth club at the time to have achieved that feat. They are also the only club to have won all four divisions, and, with having also won Division Three South before the formation of division four can boast five different divisional titles. Purchases of silver polish have declined in more recent times, despite a surprise 2008 FA Cup win over Cardiff, when long time Argyle transfer target Nwankmo Kanu scored the winner. Pompey won the cup that season conceding only one goal, a Chris Clarke thunderbolt at Fratton Park for Argyle, before turning the game around for a 2-1 win. It was the only game in Pompeyâs cup run that did not end with them winning one nil.
Unfortunately for Pompey that walk up the 39 steps was to be the beginning a dizzy spell of financial ineptitude and fraudulence which resulted in two administrations, multiple dubious owners, and a trip to the basement division. Add in a manager whose financial acumen (or in his words lack of it) entitled him to a share of the profits on player sales of which there were legion, and a nerve wracking trip to the courts to take on HMRC and explain why his dog had a bank account in Monaco, and you have a club that was heading to football hell in a handcart.
In the early 2000âs Milan Mandaric, aided and abetted by wheeler dealer âArry Redknapp had got Pompey back to the Premier League, but despite performing creditably Redknapp and Mandaric had a bust up which led to âArry walking out and joining local rivals Southampton. He was to get the Saints relegated, ironically after Pompey contrived to lose 2-0 to West Brom who thus completed their Great Escape at their rivals expense. Pure coincidence.
Redknapps replacement, Alain âReggieâ Perrin lasted almost a year but when fired, the shock replacement wasâŚ.âArry again. Perhaps unsurprisingly this was swiftly followed by the exit of Mandaric who happily passed over the ÂŁ60 million of debt he had run up going nowhere to Alexandre Gaydamak. Cue a winter shopping spree on nine new players as Sky Transfer Deadline Day had the first of many 'Arry inspired wet dreams.
The seemingly endless in and outs at Pompey resulted in their first ever top half finish, but the financial crash of 2008 had heavy implications for Gaydamak and unable to satisfy his creditors in any other way he withdrew funding from the club, began a fire sale of high earners and the most talented players and began to hunt for a buyer.
Gaydamak was later outed on that bastion of investigative journalism, the Antiques Roadshow, when it was revealed that in order to have a more minimalist boardroom he had had the antique chairs and table from the first ever British Ironclad warship HMS Warrior chucked into a skip. The builder who rescued fifteen of them had them valued at several thousand pounds each. Presumably the boardroom was painted in a nice (Jamille) Matt finish (or two).
Gaydamak's purchaser of choice was one Sulaiman Al Fahim, a billionaire spokesman for the Sheik Mansour who has just acquired Manchester City...how did that work out I wonder? Unfortunately he turned out to have nicked the deposit money from his wifeâs funds, and so fell out of the bidding. He was then sent to prison but passed the idea on to one Ali al-Faraj whose company Falcondrone took over the financing.
With a robustness only surpassed by the EFL approving Steve Dale buying Bury it came as no huge surprise to the EPL that in fact Falcondrone owed money to a company called Portpin, owned by one Balram Chanrai, a former bitter business rival of Gaydamakâs father. Are you keeping up?
Well the EPL auditors werenât, because if a bankrupt banker, two fake sheiks and debt collector werenât bad enough, said debt collector then sold the club to a Russian gangster, Vladimir (never the best sign) Antonov who shortly after taking ownership was served with a European arrest warrant for defrauding a Lithuanian bank. With debts having somehow spiralled to close to ÂŁ160 million, administration and more likely liquidation beckoned.
Chanrai reappeared, but after a fans rescue was proposed, he withdrew, and finally after years of chicanery lies and deceit the club was owned by people that cared again. With the budgets available, plus points deductions, relegation ensued and Pompey fans were consigned to the lowest level of League football. But they had a club. Whatever our rivalry we know what that threat feels like.
In 2017 the fans were approached by the Tornante Group, the investment vehicle of former Disney boss Michael Eisner and his family, and after protracted discussions a takeover bid was accepted. In an age where Hollywood and streaming money loves sport for its inbuilt audience, it made a lot of sense. Portsmouth signed up for the Disney magic. Wrexham got Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenny. Deadpool and the producer of Ted Lasso. Pompous got the bloke they might have based Lord Farquand on, the diminutive villain of the Shrek movie franchise. And the Cowley brothers.
And five years on they are pretty much where they were when they started. The ground is getting fixed, more flattened park than Fratton Park. But we know that feeling too.
Over the years we have shared some players. We had Mariner and Rafferty together, they had them separately. They nicked Norman Piper, we took James Bolton. We had Nicky Jennings, they ended up with the will oâ the wisp Alan Rogers, a winger so slight he couldnât be played if the wind went over Force 3, Gentle Breeze, on the Beaufort Scale, for fear of losing him over the popular side.
Manager wise we cannot compete with their recruitment process. They too had Pulis for a while and also Paul Hart who took over from Tony Adams, whose 16-game spell in charge was so awful his next job was in Azerbaijan! Pompey have three managers in the top 20 worst ever managers in the EPL and none of them are the worst manager in Pompeyâs history. That honour falls to Fred Cox who was the first manager to get Pompey relegated in 1959 and was fired in 1961 before he could do it again. Although they still went down. They also had a tolerance for Squeaky Ball who had two stints before heading to the noisy neighbours.
One player held in equal regard at both clubs is Chuck Norris. Indeed, in Portsmouth St Davidâs Day is celebrated on April 27th, commemorating the day he equalised in the dying minutes to deny local rivals Southampton a win, which ultimately cost them the Championship, although not promotion.
Fratton Park should hold no fears for Argyle. We have a good history there, from play-off draws, to Wylde celebrations of a late winners in the league. And let us not forget Ciderman and Kevin Summerfield, with his substitute scoring the winner with his first touch.
With the Tractor Boys at the Wendies we can go to âThe Old Girlâ as older Pompey fans still call Fratton Park and end the day on top of the pile.
The late great Dave Smith, when asked for a quote to sum up a 3-2 away win at Celtic in his spell at Dundee, came up with this from Robert Browning.
A manâs reach should exceed his grasp;
Or whatâs a Heaven for?
Zackly Ciderman, zackly. COYG!!
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