One Game at a Time
Port Vale (H) December 2nd
For the second time this season Argyle headed home wondering what might have been, as a 2-1 deserved lead turned into the disappointment of a two all draw when their opponents followed the maxim of filmmaker Sam Levenson better than they did.
âDonât watch the clock. Do what it does and keep going.â
When all is said and done Burton did just that and whatever the rights or wrongs (he was wrong) of the referee deciding to award an uncontested dropped ball, no manager is going to accept four uncontested headers in a row in their own box as being an acceptable effort.
But win at home and draw away is a tried and trusted formula for success, and Burton were determined and played to their strengths. The positives, other than a point, were that Bali Mumba scored a beauty and escaped a yellow card again, so his tightrope disciplinary walk is over for a little while, Hotdog has rediscovered his scoring mojo, and the most under sung of our attacking combinations, Niall Ennis, effectively made both goals, even if the first one was by simply being in the right place to be kicked.
Combine that with a long overdue debut for Mickel Miller and you can forgive mild mannered manager Stevie âClark Kentâ Schumacher going all Steve Evans at the end of the gameâŚ.maybe the curse of the Manager of the Month award has been delivered in a slightly different way this time.
Follow that up with an academy inspired win over past nemesis Charlton Athletic (or at least their U23 side), where Ennis and Cosgrove both continued their goal scoring ascents up the scoring charts behind Hardie, means we are three games from Wembley and free Pizzas.
Perhaps more importantly, courtesy of the whupping at the hands of the sods from the Cod, we have had a weekend off, and so for once no fretting about the parlous state of an injury list that does at least seem to be shortening just as our rivals have begun to fret about theirs lengthening. In the case of Ipswich to such an extent that they are (allegedly) casting a weather eye over our treasured loanees before the opening of the January window. Can't imagine Bali being keen.
Indeed this was made all the worse when two of their returning injurees, Leigh and the so far perpetually unavailable PanCam were sent back to the Ipswich workshop for running repairs after run outs against Pompous in the Pizza Cup. Morsy also showed his consistency with a third yellow in four games since returning from his first ban of the season. He could be timing his run just right to be absent for our trip to Portman RoadâŚ..equally he might well have got his second suspension out of the way by then at this rate.
With the Wendies reserves needing first team reinforcements to struggle past Mansfield into the glamorous third round draw and Derby just about edging it past Newport County, maybe this isnât the season to be having a cup run.
So, for the Argyle squad, a weekend to relax, recover and prepare for the December run up to the halfway point. Before, however, our newly extended leader relaxes too much, having time off is not something that always sits well with professional footballers.
Take for example the splendid idea of having a round of golf. A decent long walk, some companionship. Then again, a round of golf cost Jonny Bairstow his World T20 place when he managed to break his leg falling over on a slippery tee. Kasey Keller, the US goalkeeper managed to knock both his front teeth out simply taking his golf clubs out of his car. John Durnin at Pompey also forgot to pay attention whilst driving his buggy and spent a few months out with the subsequent leg injury.
Based on the statistical evidence it would be Mike Cooper that Shuey will be most relieved to see back in the training room on Monday. Goalkeepers do seem to be intensely accident prone away from the pitch. David âCalamityâ James managed to put his shoulder out whilst fishing for carp, and also strained a muscle on one occasion reaching for the TV remote.
Mind you goalkeepers do, or at least should have, great hand eye co-ordination, which makes the loss though injury by dropping a salad cream bottle (Dave Beasant), Ketchup (David Seaman) or a bottle of after shave (severing a tendon!) by Santiago Canizares even more galling. Neville Southall was 41 when seeing out his career at Bradford City as a goalkeeping coach, when he was recalled to action after Matt Clarke, the incumbent keeper, managed to fall downstairs at home.
So if golf is out, and relaxing is too dangerous, how about a little drive. Well if you are little like Aston Vlla full back Alan Wright, then probably best to test drive a car before you buy one. He managed to strain his back muscles stretching for the pedals in his new Ferrari. Other models are available Alan. Maybe go for a Mini next time round.
At least he managed to drive the car. Ever Banega was playing for Valencia when he popped into the garage for petrol. In a rush he managed to forget to put the handbrake on and his car rolled back and pinned his leg, fracturing two bones which kept him out for six months.
If you think driving is too dangerous then donât assume going for a walk is any safer. Svein Grondalen missed a Swedish World Cup qualifier after going for a jog and colliding with a moose! Sam Henderson, about to make his debut at Queen of the South earlier this year was also kiboshed by a large bovine, this time a runaway cow on his fatherâs farm.
So how about being a family man, staying at home and looking after the kids or the new puppy. Tell that to Darren Barnard. The Welsh full back skidded in a puddle left by the familyâs new puppy, which cost him five months with damaged ankle ligaments. Liam Lawrence was another international whose career was interrupted by falling over a dog. Mind you not as bad as Brentford goalie Chic Brodie, who attempted to tackle a stray dog on the pitch and was forced to retire after the mutt managed to shatter his kneecap in the collision. At least David Batty was already injured when his three-year-old daughter added a few weeks onto his recovery time when she ran over his injured ankle with her tricycle.
Kevin Kyle, then at Kilmarnock, was scalded by his baby daughter knocking a milk bottle over which landed in his lap, earning him the nickname âScaldin ballsâ. Although the real question has to be, just how hot was the milk you were planning to feed your daughter, Kev?
So basically injuries can come from anywhere, be it brushing your teeth like Alan Mullery, to having a shower and reaching for the soap like our very own Lee Hodges when at Barnet. And don't even think about gardening, as Charlie George will testify.
And if Shuey thinks he can relax when they are all back in the fold and supervised let us not forget Roy Carroll who tangled his ankle in a goal net and the England keeper in waiting, ex Ipswich boy Richard Wright, who managed to injure himself warming up when he tripped over a sign telling him the area was not to be used for warming up.
Fingers crossed then that the next home match, moved because England may just have scraped through to the World Cup âround of 16â will give Schuey some options to select a team from in our own version of Friday Night Lights.
The visitors will be the team from nowhere in particular, Port Vale. A team that, wouldnât you just know it, are on a run of play off level form, and who have crept into the top half of the table. They also are on a run of unbeaten matches against Argyle that extends seven games back to the Sturrock promotion season. Letâs just say we are due a result against the Valiants, hot on the heels of our recent home win against the, er, other Valiants of Charlton.
Port Vale in fact hail from the suburbs of Stoke on Trent and are based in Burslem. They are the only club in the League that are not named after a place, always assuming you count Crystal Palace as a place and not an itinerant greenhouse that was dumped near Selhurst until all the windows were smashed, and that Forest Green isnât really Nailsworth in disguise.
They are also the only Football league club to have played all ninety-one of the other league clubs, a position they will only retain if the next Conference play-offs donât cough up a surprise like Woking, Solihull Moors or Bromley gate-crashing the Hollywood fest that is Notts County v Chesterfield. Mind you as Vale hold a joint record with Burnley for the longest run of consecutive games where a club has conceded five or more goals (four matches) against Notts County I dare say they will be rooting for Chesterfield.
Like many other clubs whose origins were shrouded in the mists of time, the current Port Vale are, like a club created on Blue Peter, not necessarily the one we started with. They might have been formed in 1876 in Port Vale House, but they were more likely formed as a works team along the canals in 1879, taking their name from an offshoot of Porthill Victoria FC. They hopped around various grounds until they eventually decamped to Morland Road in Burslem when they adopted the name Burslem Port Vale. Invited to become a founder member of the Leagues Second Division the club alternated between this and the Midland League, until in 1906/7 the club fell into financial difficulties and was liquidated.
The end of Port Vale FC was not, in fact, the end of Port Vale FC. A local amateur club, Cobridge Church adopted the name and a ground in Hanley (another Stoke suburb), and in 1919 the club was elected to the League to replace the disgraced and expelled Leeds City FC. And to all intents and purposes the club has since raised very few ripples on the pond of football consciousness since then.
Its heyday if you could call it that was in the early 1950âs under the manager most Vale fans would deem their most successful, Freddie Steele. Under him the club reached the FA Cup semi final as a third tier club in 1954, losing to eventual winners West Bromwich Albion, but only after a controversial equaliser by Albert Leake was ruled out for offside.
The club had now moved into Vale Park, a 40,000-capacity stadium, although the original ambition was for 80,000 in a project dubbed âThe Wembley of the North.â Under Steele they developed a side that had a reputation for defensive soundness, which not unnaturally became the Steele Curtain, reflecting political sensibilities of the time. The club even toured Czechoslovakia in the 1960's, and hosted the Czechs as they warmed up for the 1962 World Cup in Chile where they finished runners up (the Czechs, not Vale).
Steele was later to return in the early sixties but was eventually succeeded by soccer legend Sir Stanley Matthews, but he was to find managerial success somewhat more elusive than his playing career triumphs. The club was in dire financial straits and Matthews stepped away agreeing to forego outstanding payments to try and save the club. They were charged with six counts of financial irregularity, and in the summer of 1968 were expelled from the league. They completed their fixtures and finished in eighteenth place. In fact the club, now managed by future Newcastle and Everton boss Gordon Lee in his first managerial post were only expelled for a grand total of 27 days. A vote by the League members reinstated the club in time for the next season.
The club has incubated a number of managers who went on to greater things, and of course Brian Horton. Micky Adams, John Rudge and the most successful Welsh manager in the last sixty four years ( and in all probability the next sixty four as well) Rob Page cut their teeth at the Vale. Roy Sproson, whose statue is sited outside of Vale Park also managed the club he played over 750 times for.
Less successfully, so did one of Sparksyâs favourite players, Chris Morgan. The club also for a while had future Argyle manager Billy Bingham as a record signing until injury ended his career. They also for a long time had a record signing by the name of Gareth Ainsworth. Lincoln, then Port Vale and Blackburn. I am starting to understand why he seems to love Wycombe so much now.
The worst and most regretted appointment must surely be that of Jim Gannon. His reign, which lasted a mere 77 days (almost a double Truss) ended after what is known in the area as "Busgate". Having fallen out with assistant Geoff Horsfield to the point that they were barely speaking, Gannon agreed to give Horsfield a âpersonal dayâ. He then submitted a formal written complaint to the board about Horsfield. When confronted about this, just as the team bus was about to head south to Aldershot, Gannon denied the letter existed. Horsfield then produced a Vale Director who confirmed the existence of the correspondence and a bemused team set off with no management on the bus. Horsfield was suspended, but after an inquest Gannon was fired a few days later and Horsfield reinstated with no further action.
It is also impossible to discuss Port Vale without mentioning the towns favourite son Robbie Williams. Sadly this is not the classic left back signed from Rochdale who scored five goals in his forty appearances for the Greens, but the little known boy band survivor and occasional crooner who briefly was a shareholder/Director in the club through one of its frequent recent financial meltdowns. His most controversial musical moment came when he released an album of Sinatra style rat pack songs with a title that made no sense to his many Vale based fans entitled âSwing when youâre Winningâ. Mind you , if the club had held out for another year in 1968, they could have gone for Bryan Adams as their designated rock star.
It would also not be right to welcome the Vale without acknowledging the contribution made to recent Argyle history by the most recent owners of the club the Shanahans and in particular Carol Shanahan. When the Covid affected season was suspended and needed to be resolved, unlike the owners of Why-come, who looked for the box marked âsolution that works to our advantage even if we donât deserve itâ, she voted for the PPG solution despite the fact that it was not to her clubs best interests because she viewed it as the most fair and sporting solution. The subsequent promotion of Vale is perhaps an indication of the existence of footballing Karma.
And so we go into Fridayâs game thinking of the words of, perhaps, the first ever footballing pundit, John Bunyan. That is of course if like me, you discount Nostradamus, and after his effort for last season, which ran as follows
âThe Pilgrims thus enTwined shall wear the Shoe upon the other foot
And concrete cows shall steal away in shame.â
then who doesn't. He also tipped Liverpool for the 2023 title and Grimsby for the FA Cup. Berk.
But Bunyan from an early time was clear in his pre match analysis
He who would Valiant be; Gâainst all disaster
Let him in Constancy Follow the Master
Thereâs no discouragement, Shall make him once relent
His first avowed intent: To be a Pilgrim
On that basis, there can be only one winner of the James Wilson Derby
COYG!!
Port Vale (H) December 2nd
For the second time this season Argyle headed home wondering what might have been, as a 2-1 deserved lead turned into the disappointment of a two all draw when their opponents followed the maxim of filmmaker Sam Levenson better than they did.
âDonât watch the clock. Do what it does and keep going.â
When all is said and done Burton did just that and whatever the rights or wrongs (he was wrong) of the referee deciding to award an uncontested dropped ball, no manager is going to accept four uncontested headers in a row in their own box as being an acceptable effort.
But win at home and draw away is a tried and trusted formula for success, and Burton were determined and played to their strengths. The positives, other than a point, were that Bali Mumba scored a beauty and escaped a yellow card again, so his tightrope disciplinary walk is over for a little while, Hotdog has rediscovered his scoring mojo, and the most under sung of our attacking combinations, Niall Ennis, effectively made both goals, even if the first one was by simply being in the right place to be kicked.
Combine that with a long overdue debut for Mickel Miller and you can forgive mild mannered manager Stevie âClark Kentâ Schumacher going all Steve Evans at the end of the gameâŚ.maybe the curse of the Manager of the Month award has been delivered in a slightly different way this time.
Follow that up with an academy inspired win over past nemesis Charlton Athletic (or at least their U23 side), where Ennis and Cosgrove both continued their goal scoring ascents up the scoring charts behind Hardie, means we are three games from Wembley and free Pizzas.
Perhaps more importantly, courtesy of the whupping at the hands of the sods from the Cod, we have had a weekend off, and so for once no fretting about the parlous state of an injury list that does at least seem to be shortening just as our rivals have begun to fret about theirs lengthening. In the case of Ipswich to such an extent that they are (allegedly) casting a weather eye over our treasured loanees before the opening of the January window. Can't imagine Bali being keen.
Indeed this was made all the worse when two of their returning injurees, Leigh and the so far perpetually unavailable PanCam were sent back to the Ipswich workshop for running repairs after run outs against Pompous in the Pizza Cup. Morsy also showed his consistency with a third yellow in four games since returning from his first ban of the season. He could be timing his run just right to be absent for our trip to Portman RoadâŚ..equally he might well have got his second suspension out of the way by then at this rate.
With the Wendies reserves needing first team reinforcements to struggle past Mansfield into the glamorous third round draw and Derby just about edging it past Newport County, maybe this isnât the season to be having a cup run.
So, for the Argyle squad, a weekend to relax, recover and prepare for the December run up to the halfway point. Before, however, our newly extended leader relaxes too much, having time off is not something that always sits well with professional footballers.
Take for example the splendid idea of having a round of golf. A decent long walk, some companionship. Then again, a round of golf cost Jonny Bairstow his World T20 place when he managed to break his leg falling over on a slippery tee. Kasey Keller, the US goalkeeper managed to knock both his front teeth out simply taking his golf clubs out of his car. John Durnin at Pompey also forgot to pay attention whilst driving his buggy and spent a few months out with the subsequent leg injury.
Based on the statistical evidence it would be Mike Cooper that Shuey will be most relieved to see back in the training room on Monday. Goalkeepers do seem to be intensely accident prone away from the pitch. David âCalamityâ James managed to put his shoulder out whilst fishing for carp, and also strained a muscle on one occasion reaching for the TV remote.
Mind you goalkeepers do, or at least should have, great hand eye co-ordination, which makes the loss though injury by dropping a salad cream bottle (Dave Beasant), Ketchup (David Seaman) or a bottle of after shave (severing a tendon!) by Santiago Canizares even more galling. Neville Southall was 41 when seeing out his career at Bradford City as a goalkeeping coach, when he was recalled to action after Matt Clarke, the incumbent keeper, managed to fall downstairs at home.
So if golf is out, and relaxing is too dangerous, how about a little drive. Well if you are little like Aston Vlla full back Alan Wright, then probably best to test drive a car before you buy one. He managed to strain his back muscles stretching for the pedals in his new Ferrari. Other models are available Alan. Maybe go for a Mini next time round.
At least he managed to drive the car. Ever Banega was playing for Valencia when he popped into the garage for petrol. In a rush he managed to forget to put the handbrake on and his car rolled back and pinned his leg, fracturing two bones which kept him out for six months.
If you think driving is too dangerous then donât assume going for a walk is any safer. Svein Grondalen missed a Swedish World Cup qualifier after going for a jog and colliding with a moose! Sam Henderson, about to make his debut at Queen of the South earlier this year was also kiboshed by a large bovine, this time a runaway cow on his fatherâs farm.
So how about being a family man, staying at home and looking after the kids or the new puppy. Tell that to Darren Barnard. The Welsh full back skidded in a puddle left by the familyâs new puppy, which cost him five months with damaged ankle ligaments. Liam Lawrence was another international whose career was interrupted by falling over a dog. Mind you not as bad as Brentford goalie Chic Brodie, who attempted to tackle a stray dog on the pitch and was forced to retire after the mutt managed to shatter his kneecap in the collision. At least David Batty was already injured when his three-year-old daughter added a few weeks onto his recovery time when she ran over his injured ankle with her tricycle.
Kevin Kyle, then at Kilmarnock, was scalded by his baby daughter knocking a milk bottle over which landed in his lap, earning him the nickname âScaldin ballsâ. Although the real question has to be, just how hot was the milk you were planning to feed your daughter, Kev?
So basically injuries can come from anywhere, be it brushing your teeth like Alan Mullery, to having a shower and reaching for the soap like our very own Lee Hodges when at Barnet. And don't even think about gardening, as Charlie George will testify.
And if Shuey thinks he can relax when they are all back in the fold and supervised let us not forget Roy Carroll who tangled his ankle in a goal net and the England keeper in waiting, ex Ipswich boy Richard Wright, who managed to injure himself warming up when he tripped over a sign telling him the area was not to be used for warming up.
Fingers crossed then that the next home match, moved because England may just have scraped through to the World Cup âround of 16â will give Schuey some options to select a team from in our own version of Friday Night Lights.
The visitors will be the team from nowhere in particular, Port Vale. A team that, wouldnât you just know it, are on a run of play off level form, and who have crept into the top half of the table. They also are on a run of unbeaten matches against Argyle that extends seven games back to the Sturrock promotion season. Letâs just say we are due a result against the Valiants, hot on the heels of our recent home win against the, er, other Valiants of Charlton.
Port Vale in fact hail from the suburbs of Stoke on Trent and are based in Burslem. They are the only club in the League that are not named after a place, always assuming you count Crystal Palace as a place and not an itinerant greenhouse that was dumped near Selhurst until all the windows were smashed, and that Forest Green isnât really Nailsworth in disguise.
They are also the only Football league club to have played all ninety-one of the other league clubs, a position they will only retain if the next Conference play-offs donât cough up a surprise like Woking, Solihull Moors or Bromley gate-crashing the Hollywood fest that is Notts County v Chesterfield. Mind you as Vale hold a joint record with Burnley for the longest run of consecutive games where a club has conceded five or more goals (four matches) against Notts County I dare say they will be rooting for Chesterfield.
Like many other clubs whose origins were shrouded in the mists of time, the current Port Vale are, like a club created on Blue Peter, not necessarily the one we started with. They might have been formed in 1876 in Port Vale House, but they were more likely formed as a works team along the canals in 1879, taking their name from an offshoot of Porthill Victoria FC. They hopped around various grounds until they eventually decamped to Morland Road in Burslem when they adopted the name Burslem Port Vale. Invited to become a founder member of the Leagues Second Division the club alternated between this and the Midland League, until in 1906/7 the club fell into financial difficulties and was liquidated.
The end of Port Vale FC was not, in fact, the end of Port Vale FC. A local amateur club, Cobridge Church adopted the name and a ground in Hanley (another Stoke suburb), and in 1919 the club was elected to the League to replace the disgraced and expelled Leeds City FC. And to all intents and purposes the club has since raised very few ripples on the pond of football consciousness since then.
Its heyday if you could call it that was in the early 1950âs under the manager most Vale fans would deem their most successful, Freddie Steele. Under him the club reached the FA Cup semi final as a third tier club in 1954, losing to eventual winners West Bromwich Albion, but only after a controversial equaliser by Albert Leake was ruled out for offside.
The club had now moved into Vale Park, a 40,000-capacity stadium, although the original ambition was for 80,000 in a project dubbed âThe Wembley of the North.â Under Steele they developed a side that had a reputation for defensive soundness, which not unnaturally became the Steele Curtain, reflecting political sensibilities of the time. The club even toured Czechoslovakia in the 1960's, and hosted the Czechs as they warmed up for the 1962 World Cup in Chile where they finished runners up (the Czechs, not Vale).
Steele was later to return in the early sixties but was eventually succeeded by soccer legend Sir Stanley Matthews, but he was to find managerial success somewhat more elusive than his playing career triumphs. The club was in dire financial straits and Matthews stepped away agreeing to forego outstanding payments to try and save the club. They were charged with six counts of financial irregularity, and in the summer of 1968 were expelled from the league. They completed their fixtures and finished in eighteenth place. In fact the club, now managed by future Newcastle and Everton boss Gordon Lee in his first managerial post were only expelled for a grand total of 27 days. A vote by the League members reinstated the club in time for the next season.
The club has incubated a number of managers who went on to greater things, and of course Brian Horton. Micky Adams, John Rudge and the most successful Welsh manager in the last sixty four years ( and in all probability the next sixty four as well) Rob Page cut their teeth at the Vale. Roy Sproson, whose statue is sited outside of Vale Park also managed the club he played over 750 times for.
Less successfully, so did one of Sparksyâs favourite players, Chris Morgan. The club also for a while had future Argyle manager Billy Bingham as a record signing until injury ended his career. They also for a long time had a record signing by the name of Gareth Ainsworth. Lincoln, then Port Vale and Blackburn. I am starting to understand why he seems to love Wycombe so much now.
The worst and most regretted appointment must surely be that of Jim Gannon. His reign, which lasted a mere 77 days (almost a double Truss) ended after what is known in the area as "Busgate". Having fallen out with assistant Geoff Horsfield to the point that they were barely speaking, Gannon agreed to give Horsfield a âpersonal dayâ. He then submitted a formal written complaint to the board about Horsfield. When confronted about this, just as the team bus was about to head south to Aldershot, Gannon denied the letter existed. Horsfield then produced a Vale Director who confirmed the existence of the correspondence and a bemused team set off with no management on the bus. Horsfield was suspended, but after an inquest Gannon was fired a few days later and Horsfield reinstated with no further action.
It is also impossible to discuss Port Vale without mentioning the towns favourite son Robbie Williams. Sadly this is not the classic left back signed from Rochdale who scored five goals in his forty appearances for the Greens, but the little known boy band survivor and occasional crooner who briefly was a shareholder/Director in the club through one of its frequent recent financial meltdowns. His most controversial musical moment came when he released an album of Sinatra style rat pack songs with a title that made no sense to his many Vale based fans entitled âSwing when youâre Winningâ. Mind you , if the club had held out for another year in 1968, they could have gone for Bryan Adams as their designated rock star.
It would also not be right to welcome the Vale without acknowledging the contribution made to recent Argyle history by the most recent owners of the club the Shanahans and in particular Carol Shanahan. When the Covid affected season was suspended and needed to be resolved, unlike the owners of Why-come, who looked for the box marked âsolution that works to our advantage even if we donât deserve itâ, she voted for the PPG solution despite the fact that it was not to her clubs best interests because she viewed it as the most fair and sporting solution. The subsequent promotion of Vale is perhaps an indication of the existence of footballing Karma.
And so we go into Fridayâs game thinking of the words of, perhaps, the first ever footballing pundit, John Bunyan. That is of course if like me, you discount Nostradamus, and after his effort for last season, which ran as follows
âThe Pilgrims thus enTwined shall wear the Shoe upon the other foot
And concrete cows shall steal away in shame.â
then who doesn't. He also tipped Liverpool for the 2023 title and Grimsby for the FA Cup. Berk.
But Bunyan from an early time was clear in his pre match analysis
He who would Valiant be; Gâainst all disaster
Let him in Constancy Follow the Master
Thereâs no discouragement, Shall make him once relent
His first avowed intent: To be a Pilgrim
On that basis, there can be only one winner of the James Wilson Derby
COYG!!
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