One Game at a Time: Apocalypse Now
‘Uddersfield (A) November 7th…please, make it stop…….
Flash backwards almost a week and Argyle hit what is now the halfway mark of their six game away sequence with another limp performance that saw last season’s FA Cup heroic memories trashed and buried, with much gnashing and wailing from the faithful. Unsavoury scenes where the approach of Hazard and Tolaj to reason or maybe even sympathise were met with a fusillade of abuse and anger. So much for the calls of One Argyle from incoming CEO Paul Berne.
A frankly shell-shocked Tom Cleverley was widely called out, as once again Argyle looked a long way short of the required standard for even survival at this level. A squad ravaged by injuries now also looks shorn of confidence and ideas. If there is a game plan, then frankly we need a different one, as the last three away matches have all ended the same way. We can see it. The coaches and players must know it. Either something changes over the next three games or the crescendo calling for change will grow even as the number of people present to deliver it will tumble.
Still things are changing a little it seems. The loss of the Bradford home game to the International break extends our away sequence to six in a row, so that’s something to look forward to, and at least it fills the blank weekend we have for FA Cup Round 2 day.
We still have six players who presumably time share the injury suite, with our alleged left back Jack Mackenzie now a shoe in for the David “och Ma Knee” end of season most consistent injury award. Pleggy will be gutted.
Into the fray, however, admittedly only till January to begin with, comes experienced ex Cardiff stalwart Joe Ralls, to stiffen the midfield before he stiffens his leg muscles after a couple of months training with Aldershot. In less exciting news we recalled Joe Hatch from Taunton to improve our striking resources, numerically if no other way. Rooney gave Hatch his debut, before injury interrupted his progression, so Tom Cleverley may have some idea of what he is capable of.
And that, apparently means we have our full complement of twenty two squad players, which either means some juggling with loans and departures to allow for January recruitment or their might be some last minute winter sun breaks for the recruitment teams.
This Saturday however, Argyle offer themselves up as the latest cure to “can’t buy a win-itis” which has recently afflicted our hosts Huddersfield Town.
Excluding Vertu trophy nonsense they are one of only two sides below Argyle in the current form table, in part caused by a slump in their home form which includes contriving to lose at home to Bolton last time out at home, despite being one up in the ninety third minute of ninety six.
With alleged (but realistically never) Argyle target Alfie May suspended, we will get a chance to see actual missed Argyle targets (perhaps) Ryan Ledsom and Joe Low, and a no doubt game changing cameo for former David “Och ma knee” title holder Mikel Miller, currently bench warming for the Terriers.
Our recent history against Town is not that bad, including a three two FA Cup win in the Covid season, and their providing our opening opposition for our Championship return , the game lit up by a spectacular Mumba solo goal to seal a three one victory.
By the time we headed North it was all change, with Ian Foster in his first official game in charge which brought a one all draw with Morgan Whittakers tidy finish equalised by long term Argyle nemesis Josh Koroma capitalising on what looked like a foul on debutant loanee Darko Gyabi.
Other than that, games against the Town have been sporadic, only starting in 1952 as prior to that era Huddersfield were one of the giants of the game, with Herbert Chapman leading them to a treble of titles in the early twenties, one FA Cup and two League Championships, before being lured south by the Gunners to repeat the feat. Chapman, who earlier in his career was banned as a result of financial irregularities at his then club Leeds City, before an appeal by Huddersfield got it overturned, was to die relatively young from pneumonia aged only 55 in 1934. Always an innovator, championing floodlights and numbered shirts, he was also the man who introduced the white sleeves to Arsenals all red shirt. It was his involvement with Huddersfield and Arsenal who played each other in the 1930 Cup Final that began the tradition of both sides taking the field together.
Mind you, in 1963/4 Argyle couldn’t get rid of Huddersfield, playing them six times between September and January, during which time Argyle didn’t manage a win. A four three league defeat with Duncan Neale’s first ever Argyle goal, at Leeds Road was followed by a League Cup tie eventually settled at Villa Park in a second replay. This was followed by an FA Cup win by a solitary goal for the Terriers at Home Park. A goalless draw gave Argyle a point in January and that was as good as it got for the Greens that season against the Town.
Argyle passed Town as they fell to league One status, shortly after the David Wagner era where the German espoused the clubs “Terrier” identity, with his high pressing game. Huddersfield mascot history though is a relative menagerie.
Their first mascot, before the First World War at Leeds Road, was Billy the Goat, replaced a decade later somewhat bizarrely, by an Aladdin’s Lamp, borrowed from the Theatre Royal Leeds. The lantern was rubbed prior to each game, and in a weird coincidence coincided with their success in the early 1920’s, although as we have seen the genius of Herbert Chapman and his W M formation might have had more to do with it.
No matter, Leeds United made sure the lamp was recalled from its loan spell at Leeds Road, but its replacement, a stuffed donkey, was to oversee an FA Cup win at Wembley in 1922 although it was the mascots final outing, catching fire as it did in the post-match celebrations.
Post donkey, there was a Charlie Chaplin impersonator, followed by a Spode Loving Cup (I know…so obvious) and in the 1950’s a smartly dressed elderly gent in boater, waistcoat and natty blue and white striped trousers. I mean, of course the seventies saw some baton twirling majorettes (Argyle Angels anyone?), but not before the club alighted on a rebranding around the Terrier and so, enter Skippy.
Not the kangaroo. Skippy was an actual six-year-old Yorkshire terrier that the club formally adopted, and announced to the crowd in a match against Bolton in 1969, which the club won with a Colin Dobson goal. This was a fine Huddersfield side, with Frank Worthington leading the line and the almost unbeatable Welsh scrabble duo of Ray Mielczarek and Dick Kryzywicki. Skippy saw the side reach the top of the table in February, but sadly he ran into traffic at the lights in Honley and was run over. Town however remained top until the final day and secured promotion to the topflight. There have been different versions of the mascot since then, with the current pairing being Terry and Tilly, although not to be confused with Tilly the Greyhound who laid a wreath with the Mayor of Bodmin at their 2022 Remembrance Parade on behalf of the Cornwall Greyhound Trust. Tilly (the Huddersfield one) did manage a Go Outdoors store opening with David Seaman though, so there’s a highlight reel of sorts for the marketing department to work with.
So how will this week go? The odds on two nil look pretty poor I have to say.
It was Italian Olympic gold medal winner and coach Annibali Frossi who was quoted as saying nil nil is the perfect score in football as it means the defence and the attack have balanced with neither making a mistake. The creator of the 5-4 -1 system would be spinning in his grave at some of the recent defensive displays of Argyle. Nil nil. Where do we sign?
Football is cyclical.
And so, Argyle will be hoping for a game more like the one Huddersfield had against Fulham, in March 2015, with both sides battling possible relegation. And which has more links to our current situation than you might think.
Fulham took the lead in spectacular style when Kakaniclic scored direct from a corner, just as Billy Smith did for Huddersfield in 1924 against Arsenal, the first recorded “olympic goal”, several months before Ceasario Onzari did so for Argentina against Olympic Champions Uruguay in a friendly international.
Despite leading, on a dreadful Rugby ruined pitch, Fulham are terrible. As are Huddersfield. Fulham keeper Marco Bettinelli arouses the ire in the home fans by feigning death when brushed by a town player. Then Cauley Woodrow (remember him from last Saturday) batters Town keeper Smithies challenging for a ball he can never win.
Town persevere and win a second half corner at the same place from which Fulham scored. An optimistic roar goes up, but the ball is cleared. Fired back in it is then handled on the line by Fulham’s tall fair haired captain, Hutchinson.
Penalty given, a row breaks out between Jack Grimmer (remember him from Saturday) and a Town player. By the time the referee has sorted that out he has completely forgotten who gave the penalty away, so sends of the nearest tall, fair-haired player in a Fulham shirt. This is Cauley Woodrow. He didn’t handle the ball and so resists being sent off.
Hutchinson, having realised his side faces half an hour with ten men shows immense leadership, and stands to the side of the penalty area, hands on hips, hoping the referees and his eyes never meet. He presumably reckons Woodrow is the most expendable Fulham player.
Grimmer who has not worked this out, is admirably arguing Woodrow’s case, until a teammate whispers into his ear. At this point Grimmer attempts to frog march Woodrow off the pitch.
The fourth official then intervenes and sanity of a sort prevails. Woodrow is brought back onto the pitch, despite Grimmer’s best efforts to get him into the tunnel. Hutchinson is despatched.
After several minutes of chaos, Nakhi Wells (remember him….Luton…penalties) takes the spot kick to equalise, but Bettinelli makes a simple save. It's a terrible penalty. Never take one again, Nakhi.
But the crowd are up, and despite Kit Symons making a substitution to shore up his defence, that sadly avoids the irony of subbing the reluctant near departee, now reprieved, Woodrow, every minor decision in Towns favour gets the big roar treatment.
Then, a trip, and a second penalty. Wells grabs the ball. He knows how to take a pen as we know to our recent cost. He shoos away the protesting Miller who is less certain, places the ball on the spot. And hits the post.
The game goes on and amidst the one-way traffic towards the Fulham goal, one man is having the game of his life. Bettinelli is stopping everything, to the extent that the unlikely event of a third penalty might be the only way Town can equalise. Another shot hits the post.
Fulham try to run down the clock. Woodrow, finally subbed in injury time now appears to have no inkling of how leaving the pitch works, despite having been half way down the tunnel erroneously earlier on.
And then, as the clock ticks down the inevitable happens.
No. Not a Town penalty. Fulham break and their sub, Seko Fofano is gifted the Town half to run in on Smithies. He shoots. And hits the post!
And taps the rebound into an empty home net.
One way traffic from minute two to minute ninety-six. Two missed penalties. Another shot off the woodwork. Countless saves.
Nil two. One direct from a corner, one from a last second breakaway that came off the post.
We’d take that. In a heartbeat
Football is cyclical.
So, think of the poor nurse in the long-term coma ward who finds a patient wakening, a football fan. Unsure of what year it is the fan asks questions to determine the year. Having asked who manages Everton, Celtic and Cheltenham, and been told Moyes, O’Neill and Cotterill, he sighs and says, “Have I really been under for over twenty years? How did Argyle get on last week? “
“Lost two nil away,” says the nurse.
“Thank goodness for that,” says the fan. I’ve only been asleep for a few days after all!
COYG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
‘Uddersfield (A) November 7th…please, make it stop…….
Flash backwards almost a week and Argyle hit what is now the halfway mark of their six game away sequence with another limp performance that saw last season’s FA Cup heroic memories trashed and buried, with much gnashing and wailing from the faithful. Unsavoury scenes where the approach of Hazard and Tolaj to reason or maybe even sympathise were met with a fusillade of abuse and anger. So much for the calls of One Argyle from incoming CEO Paul Berne.
A frankly shell-shocked Tom Cleverley was widely called out, as once again Argyle looked a long way short of the required standard for even survival at this level. A squad ravaged by injuries now also looks shorn of confidence and ideas. If there is a game plan, then frankly we need a different one, as the last three away matches have all ended the same way. We can see it. The coaches and players must know it. Either something changes over the next three games or the crescendo calling for change will grow even as the number of people present to deliver it will tumble.
Still things are changing a little it seems. The loss of the Bradford home game to the International break extends our away sequence to six in a row, so that’s something to look forward to, and at least it fills the blank weekend we have for FA Cup Round 2 day.
We still have six players who presumably time share the injury suite, with our alleged left back Jack Mackenzie now a shoe in for the David “och Ma Knee” end of season most consistent injury award. Pleggy will be gutted.
Into the fray, however, admittedly only till January to begin with, comes experienced ex Cardiff stalwart Joe Ralls, to stiffen the midfield before he stiffens his leg muscles after a couple of months training with Aldershot. In less exciting news we recalled Joe Hatch from Taunton to improve our striking resources, numerically if no other way. Rooney gave Hatch his debut, before injury interrupted his progression, so Tom Cleverley may have some idea of what he is capable of.
And that, apparently means we have our full complement of twenty two squad players, which either means some juggling with loans and departures to allow for January recruitment or their might be some last minute winter sun breaks for the recruitment teams.
This Saturday however, Argyle offer themselves up as the latest cure to “can’t buy a win-itis” which has recently afflicted our hosts Huddersfield Town.
Excluding Vertu trophy nonsense they are one of only two sides below Argyle in the current form table, in part caused by a slump in their home form which includes contriving to lose at home to Bolton last time out at home, despite being one up in the ninety third minute of ninety six.
With alleged (but realistically never) Argyle target Alfie May suspended, we will get a chance to see actual missed Argyle targets (perhaps) Ryan Ledsom and Joe Low, and a no doubt game changing cameo for former David “Och ma knee” title holder Mikel Miller, currently bench warming for the Terriers.
Our recent history against Town is not that bad, including a three two FA Cup win in the Covid season, and their providing our opening opposition for our Championship return , the game lit up by a spectacular Mumba solo goal to seal a three one victory.
By the time we headed North it was all change, with Ian Foster in his first official game in charge which brought a one all draw with Morgan Whittakers tidy finish equalised by long term Argyle nemesis Josh Koroma capitalising on what looked like a foul on debutant loanee Darko Gyabi.
Other than that, games against the Town have been sporadic, only starting in 1952 as prior to that era Huddersfield were one of the giants of the game, with Herbert Chapman leading them to a treble of titles in the early twenties, one FA Cup and two League Championships, before being lured south by the Gunners to repeat the feat. Chapman, who earlier in his career was banned as a result of financial irregularities at his then club Leeds City, before an appeal by Huddersfield got it overturned, was to die relatively young from pneumonia aged only 55 in 1934. Always an innovator, championing floodlights and numbered shirts, he was also the man who introduced the white sleeves to Arsenals all red shirt. It was his involvement with Huddersfield and Arsenal who played each other in the 1930 Cup Final that began the tradition of both sides taking the field together.
Mind you, in 1963/4 Argyle couldn’t get rid of Huddersfield, playing them six times between September and January, during which time Argyle didn’t manage a win. A four three league defeat with Duncan Neale’s first ever Argyle goal, at Leeds Road was followed by a League Cup tie eventually settled at Villa Park in a second replay. This was followed by an FA Cup win by a solitary goal for the Terriers at Home Park. A goalless draw gave Argyle a point in January and that was as good as it got for the Greens that season against the Town.
Argyle passed Town as they fell to league One status, shortly after the David Wagner era where the German espoused the clubs “Terrier” identity, with his high pressing game. Huddersfield mascot history though is a relative menagerie.
Their first mascot, before the First World War at Leeds Road, was Billy the Goat, replaced a decade later somewhat bizarrely, by an Aladdin’s Lamp, borrowed from the Theatre Royal Leeds. The lantern was rubbed prior to each game, and in a weird coincidence coincided with their success in the early 1920’s, although as we have seen the genius of Herbert Chapman and his W M formation might have had more to do with it.
No matter, Leeds United made sure the lamp was recalled from its loan spell at Leeds Road, but its replacement, a stuffed donkey, was to oversee an FA Cup win at Wembley in 1922 although it was the mascots final outing, catching fire as it did in the post-match celebrations.
Post donkey, there was a Charlie Chaplin impersonator, followed by a Spode Loving Cup (I know…so obvious) and in the 1950’s a smartly dressed elderly gent in boater, waistcoat and natty blue and white striped trousers. I mean, of course the seventies saw some baton twirling majorettes (Argyle Angels anyone?), but not before the club alighted on a rebranding around the Terrier and so, enter Skippy.
Not the kangaroo. Skippy was an actual six-year-old Yorkshire terrier that the club formally adopted, and announced to the crowd in a match against Bolton in 1969, which the club won with a Colin Dobson goal. This was a fine Huddersfield side, with Frank Worthington leading the line and the almost unbeatable Welsh scrabble duo of Ray Mielczarek and Dick Kryzywicki. Skippy saw the side reach the top of the table in February, but sadly he ran into traffic at the lights in Honley and was run over. Town however remained top until the final day and secured promotion to the topflight. There have been different versions of the mascot since then, with the current pairing being Terry and Tilly, although not to be confused with Tilly the Greyhound who laid a wreath with the Mayor of Bodmin at their 2022 Remembrance Parade on behalf of the Cornwall Greyhound Trust. Tilly (the Huddersfield one) did manage a Go Outdoors store opening with David Seaman though, so there’s a highlight reel of sorts for the marketing department to work with.
So how will this week go? The odds on two nil look pretty poor I have to say.
It was Italian Olympic gold medal winner and coach Annibali Frossi who was quoted as saying nil nil is the perfect score in football as it means the defence and the attack have balanced with neither making a mistake. The creator of the 5-4 -1 system would be spinning in his grave at some of the recent defensive displays of Argyle. Nil nil. Where do we sign?
Football is cyclical.
And so, Argyle will be hoping for a game more like the one Huddersfield had against Fulham, in March 2015, with both sides battling possible relegation. And which has more links to our current situation than you might think.
Fulham took the lead in spectacular style when Kakaniclic scored direct from a corner, just as Billy Smith did for Huddersfield in 1924 against Arsenal, the first recorded “olympic goal”, several months before Ceasario Onzari did so for Argentina against Olympic Champions Uruguay in a friendly international.
Despite leading, on a dreadful Rugby ruined pitch, Fulham are terrible. As are Huddersfield. Fulham keeper Marco Bettinelli arouses the ire in the home fans by feigning death when brushed by a town player. Then Cauley Woodrow (remember him from last Saturday) batters Town keeper Smithies challenging for a ball he can never win.
Town persevere and win a second half corner at the same place from which Fulham scored. An optimistic roar goes up, but the ball is cleared. Fired back in it is then handled on the line by Fulham’s tall fair haired captain, Hutchinson.
Penalty given, a row breaks out between Jack Grimmer (remember him from Saturday) and a Town player. By the time the referee has sorted that out he has completely forgotten who gave the penalty away, so sends of the nearest tall, fair-haired player in a Fulham shirt. This is Cauley Woodrow. He didn’t handle the ball and so resists being sent off.
Hutchinson, having realised his side faces half an hour with ten men shows immense leadership, and stands to the side of the penalty area, hands on hips, hoping the referees and his eyes never meet. He presumably reckons Woodrow is the most expendable Fulham player.
Grimmer who has not worked this out, is admirably arguing Woodrow’s case, until a teammate whispers into his ear. At this point Grimmer attempts to frog march Woodrow off the pitch.
The fourth official then intervenes and sanity of a sort prevails. Woodrow is brought back onto the pitch, despite Grimmer’s best efforts to get him into the tunnel. Hutchinson is despatched.
After several minutes of chaos, Nakhi Wells (remember him….Luton…penalties) takes the spot kick to equalise, but Bettinelli makes a simple save. It's a terrible penalty. Never take one again, Nakhi.
But the crowd are up, and despite Kit Symons making a substitution to shore up his defence, that sadly avoids the irony of subbing the reluctant near departee, now reprieved, Woodrow, every minor decision in Towns favour gets the big roar treatment.
Then, a trip, and a second penalty. Wells grabs the ball. He knows how to take a pen as we know to our recent cost. He shoos away the protesting Miller who is less certain, places the ball on the spot. And hits the post.
The game goes on and amidst the one-way traffic towards the Fulham goal, one man is having the game of his life. Bettinelli is stopping everything, to the extent that the unlikely event of a third penalty might be the only way Town can equalise. Another shot hits the post.
Fulham try to run down the clock. Woodrow, finally subbed in injury time now appears to have no inkling of how leaving the pitch works, despite having been half way down the tunnel erroneously earlier on.
And then, as the clock ticks down the inevitable happens.
No. Not a Town penalty. Fulham break and their sub, Seko Fofano is gifted the Town half to run in on Smithies. He shoots. And hits the post!
And taps the rebound into an empty home net.
One way traffic from minute two to minute ninety-six. Two missed penalties. Another shot off the woodwork. Countless saves.
Nil two. One direct from a corner, one from a last second breakaway that came off the post.
We’d take that. In a heartbeat
Football is cyclical.
So, think of the poor nurse in the long-term coma ward who finds a patient wakening, a football fan. Unsure of what year it is the fan asks questions to determine the year. Having asked who manages Everton, Celtic and Cheltenham, and been told Moyes, O’Neill and Cotterill, he sighs and says, “Have I really been under for over twenty years? How did Argyle get on last week? “
“Lost two nil away,” says the nurse.
“Thank goodness for that,” says the fan. I’ve only been asleep for a few days after all!
COYG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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