Good post and pretty much how I approach it too.There definitely is a lot of pressure for young boys in the system, but a great deal depends on the parents' ability to put it into context.
I don't for a moment think I'm handling it perfectly, but I just keep reminding my boy to enjoy the experience while it lasts. Education is Plan A, football is a very distant Plan B. Just like my job is Plan A and winning the lottery is Plan B. Luckily Southampton are really good in that regard and ask to see his school reports and communicate regularly with his teachers.
We also make sure he keeps seeing his grassroots mates on a regular basis just so he can keep his eye in for the inevitable day when he gets released.
Some parents seem to think their kids have a genuine chance of making it, when only around 1% of 12,000 kids in the pro system do. That is vanishingly small, yet they completely turn their backs on a kid's 'old' life and throw everything into their football. One dad showed me a video yesterday he did of his kid doing weights, hitting a punchbag, pounding on a running machine etc, all set to Rocky-style music. He's ten years old FFS.
I will enjoy the experience while it lasts. My boy scored a hattrick against Man Utd recently. That is something he and I will remember forever, and is one of the many reasons why boys in his position need to enjoy every moment; it'll all be over in the blink of an eye and it'll be back to the real world they go. Don't treat them like superstars because they're just ordinary kids who happen to be decent at football.
The number of players coming through to Argyle first team squads is encouraging, though, and , like you say, whichever way you look at it , the coaching investment in them will likely mean they will play at a decent non-league level , if they want, when older, as a minimum.
But the hat-trick against Man Utd - what a great memory - especially when I have great memories of just playing in DJM cup finals etc. There are some rewards for the hard work ! as always.