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New jokes appreciated
- Thread starter mervyn
- Start date
A bloke goes for a job at the circus.
The owner says, 'What can you do?'.
'I do really good bird impressions'
'Sorry, but we've already got one of those' said the circus owner.
'Ah well, never mind' said the bloke as he flew out of the tent.
The owner says, 'What can you do?'.
'I do really good bird impressions'
'Sorry, but we've already got one of those' said the circus owner.
'Ah well, never mind' said the bloke as he flew out of the tent.
- Apr 25, 2016
- 14,491
- 11,176
A lion would never drive under the influence, but a Tiger Wood.
A single mother gave birth to twins in hospital but due to complications was in a coma for some time after the happy event.
Eventually she regained consciousness and the first thing she asked the doctor was to enquire about her babies.
The doctor looked worried but responded positively saying that she had given birth to a girl and a boy and they were both doing well.
He carried on to say that as she had been in a coma for some time, her brother had taken care of the babies and they were living in his house with his family.
Relieved, the woman asked if the doctor knew if her brother had given the babies names.
The doctor shifted uncomfortably but told her that the girl was called Denise.
“And the boy?” She asked.
“Denephew”, replied the doctor.
Eventually she regained consciousness and the first thing she asked the doctor was to enquire about her babies.
The doctor looked worried but responded positively saying that she had given birth to a girl and a boy and they were both doing well.
He carried on to say that as she had been in a coma for some time, her brother had taken care of the babies and they were living in his house with his family.
Relieved, the woman asked if the doctor knew if her brother had given the babies names.
The doctor shifted uncomfortably but told her that the girl was called Denise.
“And the boy?” She asked.
“Denephew”, replied the doctor.
The difference between a golf ball and a Range Rover? Tiger Woods can drive golf ball 300 yards without hitting a tree!!
I was in hospital recently. The fellah in the next bed seemed a bit odd. Later he told me he now indentified as a can of deoderant. I couldnt help asking him if he was Sure.