I’ve got a Polish friend who’s a sound engineer.
I’ve got a Czech one too.
I’ve got a Czech one too.
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Exam question sent to me by daughter, a teacher.
Daley Thompson. Discus.
Daley Thompson. Discus.
A Ted Dawson Skit involving Dawson and another comedian dressed as women discussing marriage.
Other Lady to Dawson " Were you Virgo Intacto on your honeymoon?"
Dawson with a pause and a puzzled look on his face " No, we were Bed and Breakfast".
Other Lady to Dawson " Were you Virgo Intacto on your honeymoon?"
Dawson with a pause and a puzzled look on his face " No, we were Bed and Breakfast".
A blonde female bought herself a new Mercedes. She could drive the car during the day, but at night the car wouldn't move at all. She tried driving the car at night for a week with no luck.
Furious, she called the dealership, told them the problem and they sent a
mechanic to the house. The mechanic gave the car a thorough inspection
and could not find anything wrong.
Eventually, he asked the blonde, " Are you sure you're using the right gears?"
"Of course I am. I'm not stupid. I use "D" during the day and "N" at night!
Furious, she called the dealership, told them the problem and they sent a
mechanic to the house. The mechanic gave the car a thorough inspection
and could not find anything wrong.
Eventually, he asked the blonde, " Are you sure you're using the right gears?"
"Of course I am. I'm not stupid. I use "D" during the day and "N" at night!
Went for a meal last night,as we arrived the owner said “sorry we are very busy, you ok waiting for a while?” I said yes, then he replied “good take these drinks to table 4.”
They say old ladies can't eat apples but that's just a granny's myth
After becoming the first team to lose to San Marino in 20 years, Liechenstein have requested to play a morale boosting friendly against Man Utd next month.
Some lad attacked me with a bat in the park last night. To be fair, I was amazed that he had managed to train it so well..
Chap walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barmaid gave him one..
People need to stop running onto the pitch during games. It's only a matter of time before someone does it at Goodison and is made 'Man of The Match'.
Two elderly women, Marie & Edith, were driving. Neither could see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through.
Edith in the passenger seat thought to herself: “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.”
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right through. This time Edith was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.
She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through.
She turned to Marie and said: “Marie! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”
Marie turned to her and said: “Oh, am I driving?”
Edith in the passenger seat thought to herself: “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.”
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right through. This time Edith was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.
She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through.
She turned to Marie and said: “Marie! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”
Marie turned to her and said: “Oh, am I driving?”
I always thought there was no hiding place from the CIA, yet after spending 20 years and millions of dollars looking for Bin Laden, they found him in his house!!