Ok so this is a bit self indulgent, but i'm going to treat it as therapy, so please excuse the long winded nature of what follows.
I'm 47, live 250 miles from Plymouth, but (pre covid) would do 6 home games a year, 10-15 away games, so i'm a football fan, i played as a kid, was even offered money by Steve Evans as a teenager to play for him, so played the game to a reasonable level - therefore to anyone new meeting me, they would class me as someone who loves football. So why am i feeling so under-whelmed by watching England?
I dont want to be, i want to feel what others are feeling, but quite frankly had yesterdays game been an 8pm kick off, i'd have been switching to Love Island during the 2nd half.
I've tried to blame it on my age, but its not that, when Ben Stokes smashed the Aussies to all parts i was jumping around like a lunatic. I would profess to caring more about Argyle than England, but i'm sure that's the same for most football fans???
Maybe i've become middle class, my father is a Laira boy, my mother from Willesden, so working class roots, i cant stand opera, ballet or the boat race, so probably not that, although as someone else alluded to, my heart sinks when we boo an opposing teams national anthem. Even the simplest mind must understand that is motivation you are giving an opponent. Moronic doesn't even come close.
So what is it? I've got it down to two options, one is that we are just a dull side to watch, 5 defenders, two centre backs masquerading at centre midfielders, one of our three creative players yesterday has played left back 5 times this season. We have 12 midfielders/attackers in our squad, you wouldn't get change from £1 billion in the transfer market for these individuals, yet we play to our weakness and invite pressure, Stones and Pickford have been superb, however we all except, Everton and Man City fans accept, they have the potential to implode. When Southgate got the job, he was full of attacking promise and intent, Carpe Diem etc - yet now we are at home against 4 bang average sides (so far) we are playing with an element of fear. Of course his supporters will rightly say its a results based industry, the draw for the last three tournaments couldn't have been better if we'd handpicked it ourselves, so i dont understand why we aren't playing with freedom and trying to dominate sides. Every other nation would find room Grealish and Foden i'm sure of that.
In saying all of that, when i watch Argyle, of course i want to be entertained, but always happy for a scrappy 1-0 win, so is it double standards on my part, which perhaps leads me onto my far more complex other option.
Maybe i've had enough of being robbed or taken for a mug. By that i mean the sport in general, FA, UEFA, Fifa, Sky, BT - they spend so much time trying to find ways of me (us) funding their lifestyles and sucking the blood out of the game, that i demand to be entertained for my dollar. This tournament for an example, what a farce, 24 teams qualify, then only 8 getting knocked out - thats not for the good of the sport, its to the detriment of it. The Qatar world cup on the horizon, will our players be shot for taking the knee? Or if we are so strong willed about discrimination will we pull out - but a world cup in Qatar? Sky trying to sell Burnley v Crystal Palace for £9.99, the top clubs sticking two fingers at everyone else and making their own league (dont think they wont look to do it again), the EFL allowing Arsenal B in cup competitions, Wembley charging £80+ for a friendly then £20 for a hot dog and lager, none of this is in the interest of football. Liverpool and Man Utd, two titans of the game, two traditional football heartlands, the working class game, yet the locals are getting priced out of season tickets by companies buying tickets and giving them to customers or foreign tourists.
If you take people for mugs, eventually some will reach a breaking point and maybe thats me, i watch England with a "this better be good" mindset, rather than i hope we win and as such its killed my enjoyment, for all of yesterdays great result and no one would doubt beating Germany 2-0 in any tournament is a wonderful thing, i still cannot get over the first 75 tedious minutes when watching paint dry would have been better for my health.
I'm sorry to those who read this and think "what a ****" as i say its a genuine attempt to find out why i dont care when everything says i should, i'd love my sons to see England win a tournament, but if happens i'd like them to see me enjoy it too, instead of wondering why Dad isn't bothered. I watched the scenes on the news of Home Park, great to see the love and enthusiasm, i'm jealous to a degree, why dont i care like that anymore?