One Game at a Time: You’re Only Here for the Pasties
Birmingham City (A) August 26th
“Football is decided on fine margins.” Paul Merson
If there was one lesson from a narrow, but not unexpected reverse at the hands of the Saints it was that a change in level would certainly mean that those games that in the past might have been marginally decided in Argyle’s favour might now be, on occasion likely to swing the other way.
The contrast could be seen in a quick comparison with Argyles last televised home league fixture on Sky. Derby, like Southampton are fallen from their previous elevated status, and both were, at the start of the season, promotion fancies of all the experts.
Against Derby, with Hardie and Azaz to the fore the game turned on a disputed penalty call, when Azaz went down after what looked like minimal contact, and Hardie despatched the spot kick to bring home three vital points.
For the visit of the Saints Azaz was once again in the thick of the action, recalled alongside Luke Cundle in an all-Premiership loan forward midfield pairing. KKH returned to replace the unluckily injured in training Earley in the only other change.
Southampton on the other hand arrived in a state of flux, with their first-choice midfield being either sold (Ward-Prowse, Lavia) or injured (Smallbone), and in the case of loanee Flynn Downes, not arrived yet due to a mysterious ailment.
Sadly, for Argyle what they did have was the attacking options of Nathan Tella and Che Adams, who despite bids and enquiries to take them to other clubs, were, unlike almost every forward in the Leeds postcode, available to play for their club.
A boisterous Home Park saw a stalemate of a first half where the paucity of the Argyle final ball was only matched by the lack of quality of the Tom Daley-like impressions of various Saints players.
If the first half resembled a typical Martin chess match the second half started in altogether more exciting fashion. Once again, a misplaced pass from Argyle sprang a Saints counterattack, and a low cross, which on another day either or both of KKH and Cundle would have snuffed out rolled invitingly onto the left foot of right winger Tella. In a style familiar to the Championship audiences of last season, he curled an unstoppable shot into the corner of Hazards net.
Argyle needed to respond. Ninety-four seconds later they had. Whittaker, pinned to the right flank in our new playing system, showed a clean pair of heels to erstwhile Swansea colleague Liam Manning, and clipped the ball straight into the channel of uncertainty. Anticipating this was Ryan Hardie whose finish was past Bazuma in an instant. Martin, whose pre match comments on Whittaker were grudgingly ambivalent was given a first-hand demonstration of Morgan’s abilities. Karma is a bitch.
For the rest of the half the pattern was similar. Southampton had the ball, Argyle hunted them down, and our rear-guard, once again led by Joe 90, and dominated by the impressive Lewis Gibson and Dan Scarr, protected Hazard well. One of their Armstrongs rattled the bar, and a free kick, no longer in Ward Prowse territory by a comfortable two hundred miles or so, was superbly sent up and over the bar by the Argyle stopper.
Argyle were not chanceless. Finn finally got his passing radar working and sent Hardie clear, and once again he was past Bazuma in an instant. Hardie tumbled. In real time, well you have seen them given (Derby, last season remember). The referee, perhaps having denied a saint three times went all St Peter on us and denied Argyle as well. Was it a pen or a dive? Well, the highlights on Matchday Moments excised the incident completely…
Argyle refused to make a mountain of that particular molehill as they were more concerned with avoiding the occasional one springing up from the cut-up pitch in midfield. Whittaker once again cut in from his wing in injury time, but his near post effort hit, surprise, the near post.
And then with additional time almost up the sucker punch. A corner which went high in the air, a Saints header from the quicker reaction brough a save from Hazard which parried the ball straight to the only Saints player in the vicinity. If he had been any closer to the Barn Park End goal, he would have been asked for a ticket. Adams scored, and as Billy Rafferty said of Paul Mariners similarly distanced goal at that end to win Argyle promotion in 74/5 against Colchester, “Aye, from two yards with no keeper, he’s magic.”
Saints saw out the game, Home Park gave its exhausted warriors the ovation they deserved, and in the current idiom, we move on. Much was made of Argyles poor final ball, although of course the final ball that doesn’t lead to a goal is always up for critique, or else it isn’t the final ball. On the other hand, if you don’t try you cannot fail, and our coaching team are building a squad that will always play forward and look for the attacking option. It already promises to be an exciting ride.
Our next trip takes us from the Capital City, via the Ocean City to the Second City, and indeed the second club of that city. It is also a trip to familiar if hostile territory for three of our squad with Finn, KKH and Tyreik Wright all having strong associations with Aston Villa, making them DVB’s (work it out) in the eyes of the Brummie Bluenose faithful.
Although Argyle had to wait until after the second world war to cross swords with Birmingham, the club was one of the earliest formed, as Small Heath Alliance in 1875. It dropped the Alliance to become simply Small Heath in 1888 and in 1889 they were elected to the English League's Second Division (do you detect a theme here). The club won the Second Division in their first season but were not promoted as in those early days clubs then entered a Test match against the lowest placed sides from the higher division. It was a small delay and the following season, their second they finished, you guessed it, second, but won their match against Darwen FC to gain promotion.
Small Heath transformed themselves into Birmingham FC in 1905, (the City suffix didn’t arrive until 1943 and trust me, the fans don't really use it very much), and spent most of the intervening years up to WW1 in, of course, the Second Division. Post the Great War the club made it to the First Division where they remained, safely out of reach of Argyle, being relegated in the final season before the War.
The club made one trip to Wembley, pre-war, losing to local rivals West Brom in the 1931 FA Cup Final. Their next trip was the altogether unforgettable Trautmann Final of 1956, where the ex-POW goalkeeper defied a broken bone in his neck to help Manchester City to their 3-1 victory. The one abiding outcome from this final however, was brought about by Birmingham’s ex Argyle winger Alex Govan. He was filmed leading the players in a song on their journey in the run up to the game at Roker Park on the way to that year’s final. “Keep Right On To the End of the Road” was adopted by the Blues fans and remains their anthem to this day.
Govan, who after his stint at the Blues, returned to Argyle via Pompey, was an electric winger with a great cross. I am indebted to Steve Rhodes and GOS, for the excellent story that, when drinking in the Golden Hind, he told a punter, waving around a five-pound note signed by the great John Charles of Leeds after he scored both United goals in a match at St Andrews, that he had better sign the other side, as he had scored a hat-trick for the Blues in their 6-2 win. His fifth hat-trick of the season!
For a club as yet to win a major trophy, Birmingham were remarkably the first English club to compete in Europe. The Inter City Fairs Cup was set up around the great industrial and commercial cities and in 1956, they reached the semi-final, losing to Barcelona, who defeated them the following season as well. The club reached the final again the following year losing to AS Roma, enroute defeating Inter home and away in the semi-final. No other English club were to win in competition at the San Siro until Arsenal did so in 2003.
Finally in 1963, the club landed a major trophy. Even better the win, over two legs in the new-fangled League Cup (it will never catch on) was over local rivals Villa.
The club returned to the Second division in 1965, until Freddie Goodwin assembled a team built around Bob Latchford, and a young Plymouth born striker, Trevor Francis. Francis, who died this year, and was the country’s first million-pound player when he signed for Forest in 1979 was a quicksilver striker. He played against Argyle in their 1973/4 League Cup quarter final game, played in the 3-day week as a midweek afternoon kick-off. As a result, few Argyle fans saw one of the most brilliant strikes for Argyle’s winner from Steve Davey, from a Mariner (who else) flick -on. Mind, you neither did either Dave Latchford, the Blues keeper, or the Westward TV cameraman, who caught up with the ball as it nestled in the net.
Birmingman at the time were wearing their “penguin’ strip, with a broad white central stripe down the blue shirt. It is one of their most iconic trips, and certainly better than the effort created during their years of being sponsored by Triton Showers, where the splash marks on the strip were presumed to resemble a shower curtain.
It was also around this time that the Blues had their logo redesigned for them, after a contest, originally in 1972, in the Sports Argus. The City Council (allegedly populated by Villa fans) took issue with the club using the City coat of arms as their badge and banned them from using it. The new logo, a football on a globe with the club’s name beribboned around them has stayed till this day.
The club fell on hard times, and was acquired by Manchester based clothing magnates, the Kumars, but the Blues were far from at home with these owners, and their business fell casualty to the BCCI banking collapse. The club was acquired by the Daily Sport proprietors, David Sullivan and the Gold Brothers, who appointed a 24-year-old sales executive as CEO in Karren Brady.
Under Sullivan and Brady, the club was refinanced and rebuilt, during which time Brady, acquired, sold, married and then reacquired the Canadian striker Paolo Peschisolido. In 2003, with French international striker Christophe Dugarry leading the attack the Blues appeared poised for success, and Sullivan declared the club was on the brink of trophies. Despite signing Pandiani, Heskey and Pennant they were relegated in 2005/6, and shortly afterwards the owners decamped for West Ham (claret and blue being a more popular choice in those parts) and a Hong Kong businessman Carson Yeung took the helm.
Yeungs stewardship went about as well as these things do traditionally, and when he was convicted of money laundering in Hong Kong, the club entered that twilight world of existence whereby the ground suddenly “has to be sold” and our old friend Laurence Bassini attempts to buy you. In a bizarre twist ex Argentine international Maxi Lopes was part of a consortium that managed to announce they were running the club, despite never actually paying for it. The EFL stepped in and sanctioned the members of the consortium, and finally an American venture capital group bought a controlling interest, restored the ground ownership to the club, and, as well as bringing in superstar quarterback Tom Brady (no relation to Karren) as an investor/advisor, have allowed the club, managed by John Eustace, ably assisted by former Argyle assistant boss Keith Downing, to start the season unbeaten.
This has led to some strange sights, such as heavy Brummie accents chanting USA! USA! at the top of their voices, like some weird overseas Trumpian rally. If this trend spreads through the West Midlands one can envisage MAGA caps at the Hawthorns as the Make Albion Great Again (the second A may be superfluous) campaign begins, and Disney acquiring Aston Villa so they can brand the club Disney Villains.
That level of rebranding may seem far fetched. Ingratiating themselves, however, with the local fanbase, the new club owners called their company Shelby Associates, after the Peaky Blinder family and TV series created by a fervent Bluenose, Steven Knight. Seeing no irony in celebrating a set of characters whose exploits include violence, murder, extortion and in one case match fixing by intimidating referees, the EFL obviously waved the name through. The club had already rebranded as Small Heath for one game in February 2022 against Huddersfield Town, to commemorate the final series of the TV show. They lost two nil. More peaky than blinders.
At least the club believe they have removed the curse of bad luck, allegedly placed on the ground by gypsies who were evicted from the area to make way for the clubs new ground in 1906. The curse, which was supposed to last a hundred years and so should have expired in 2006 may well be apocryphal, but the ground has been bombed by the Germans, and then had the stand burn down after the firemen dealing with the blaze used petrol instead of water. Barry Fry, of course Barry Fry, tried peeing on the corner flags before each game (er, health and safety Barry?), and holy water was sprinkled on the pitch to little avail. The latest solution to this entirely imaginary problem was the blessing of the new dugout seats!
Argyle will arrive, in all probability still seeking an additional striker, and meeting a somewhat injury hit side, who may well have former loanee Sam Cosgrove on the bench. So that’s got last minute winner written all over it.
On the other hand, they should be buoyed by the fact they eliminated the club from the FA Cup en route to Chelsea a couple of seasons back with a glorious Ryan Law thunderbolt
So, it’s off to the second city, win those second balls, and bring home a second League win. Blinding.
COYG!!!!!
Birmingham City (A) August 26th
“Football is decided on fine margins.” Paul Merson
If there was one lesson from a narrow, but not unexpected reverse at the hands of the Saints it was that a change in level would certainly mean that those games that in the past might have been marginally decided in Argyle’s favour might now be, on occasion likely to swing the other way.
The contrast could be seen in a quick comparison with Argyles last televised home league fixture on Sky. Derby, like Southampton are fallen from their previous elevated status, and both were, at the start of the season, promotion fancies of all the experts.
Against Derby, with Hardie and Azaz to the fore the game turned on a disputed penalty call, when Azaz went down after what looked like minimal contact, and Hardie despatched the spot kick to bring home three vital points.
For the visit of the Saints Azaz was once again in the thick of the action, recalled alongside Luke Cundle in an all-Premiership loan forward midfield pairing. KKH returned to replace the unluckily injured in training Earley in the only other change.
Southampton on the other hand arrived in a state of flux, with their first-choice midfield being either sold (Ward-Prowse, Lavia) or injured (Smallbone), and in the case of loanee Flynn Downes, not arrived yet due to a mysterious ailment.
Sadly, for Argyle what they did have was the attacking options of Nathan Tella and Che Adams, who despite bids and enquiries to take them to other clubs, were, unlike almost every forward in the Leeds postcode, available to play for their club.
A boisterous Home Park saw a stalemate of a first half where the paucity of the Argyle final ball was only matched by the lack of quality of the Tom Daley-like impressions of various Saints players.
If the first half resembled a typical Martin chess match the second half started in altogether more exciting fashion. Once again, a misplaced pass from Argyle sprang a Saints counterattack, and a low cross, which on another day either or both of KKH and Cundle would have snuffed out rolled invitingly onto the left foot of right winger Tella. In a style familiar to the Championship audiences of last season, he curled an unstoppable shot into the corner of Hazards net.
Argyle needed to respond. Ninety-four seconds later they had. Whittaker, pinned to the right flank in our new playing system, showed a clean pair of heels to erstwhile Swansea colleague Liam Manning, and clipped the ball straight into the channel of uncertainty. Anticipating this was Ryan Hardie whose finish was past Bazuma in an instant. Martin, whose pre match comments on Whittaker were grudgingly ambivalent was given a first-hand demonstration of Morgan’s abilities. Karma is a bitch.
For the rest of the half the pattern was similar. Southampton had the ball, Argyle hunted them down, and our rear-guard, once again led by Joe 90, and dominated by the impressive Lewis Gibson and Dan Scarr, protected Hazard well. One of their Armstrongs rattled the bar, and a free kick, no longer in Ward Prowse territory by a comfortable two hundred miles or so, was superbly sent up and over the bar by the Argyle stopper.
Argyle were not chanceless. Finn finally got his passing radar working and sent Hardie clear, and once again he was past Bazuma in an instant. Hardie tumbled. In real time, well you have seen them given (Derby, last season remember). The referee, perhaps having denied a saint three times went all St Peter on us and denied Argyle as well. Was it a pen or a dive? Well, the highlights on Matchday Moments excised the incident completely…
Argyle refused to make a mountain of that particular molehill as they were more concerned with avoiding the occasional one springing up from the cut-up pitch in midfield. Whittaker once again cut in from his wing in injury time, but his near post effort hit, surprise, the near post.
And then with additional time almost up the sucker punch. A corner which went high in the air, a Saints header from the quicker reaction brough a save from Hazard which parried the ball straight to the only Saints player in the vicinity. If he had been any closer to the Barn Park End goal, he would have been asked for a ticket. Adams scored, and as Billy Rafferty said of Paul Mariners similarly distanced goal at that end to win Argyle promotion in 74/5 against Colchester, “Aye, from two yards with no keeper, he’s magic.”
Saints saw out the game, Home Park gave its exhausted warriors the ovation they deserved, and in the current idiom, we move on. Much was made of Argyles poor final ball, although of course the final ball that doesn’t lead to a goal is always up for critique, or else it isn’t the final ball. On the other hand, if you don’t try you cannot fail, and our coaching team are building a squad that will always play forward and look for the attacking option. It already promises to be an exciting ride.
Our next trip takes us from the Capital City, via the Ocean City to the Second City, and indeed the second club of that city. It is also a trip to familiar if hostile territory for three of our squad with Finn, KKH and Tyreik Wright all having strong associations with Aston Villa, making them DVB’s (work it out) in the eyes of the Brummie Bluenose faithful.
Although Argyle had to wait until after the second world war to cross swords with Birmingham, the club was one of the earliest formed, as Small Heath Alliance in 1875. It dropped the Alliance to become simply Small Heath in 1888 and in 1889 they were elected to the English League's Second Division (do you detect a theme here). The club won the Second Division in their first season but were not promoted as in those early days clubs then entered a Test match against the lowest placed sides from the higher division. It was a small delay and the following season, their second they finished, you guessed it, second, but won their match against Darwen FC to gain promotion.
Small Heath transformed themselves into Birmingham FC in 1905, (the City suffix didn’t arrive until 1943 and trust me, the fans don't really use it very much), and spent most of the intervening years up to WW1 in, of course, the Second Division. Post the Great War the club made it to the First Division where they remained, safely out of reach of Argyle, being relegated in the final season before the War.
The club made one trip to Wembley, pre-war, losing to local rivals West Brom in the 1931 FA Cup Final. Their next trip was the altogether unforgettable Trautmann Final of 1956, where the ex-POW goalkeeper defied a broken bone in his neck to help Manchester City to their 3-1 victory. The one abiding outcome from this final however, was brought about by Birmingham’s ex Argyle winger Alex Govan. He was filmed leading the players in a song on their journey in the run up to the game at Roker Park on the way to that year’s final. “Keep Right On To the End of the Road” was adopted by the Blues fans and remains their anthem to this day.
Govan, who after his stint at the Blues, returned to Argyle via Pompey, was an electric winger with a great cross. I am indebted to Steve Rhodes and GOS, for the excellent story that, when drinking in the Golden Hind, he told a punter, waving around a five-pound note signed by the great John Charles of Leeds after he scored both United goals in a match at St Andrews, that he had better sign the other side, as he had scored a hat-trick for the Blues in their 6-2 win. His fifth hat-trick of the season!
For a club as yet to win a major trophy, Birmingham were remarkably the first English club to compete in Europe. The Inter City Fairs Cup was set up around the great industrial and commercial cities and in 1956, they reached the semi-final, losing to Barcelona, who defeated them the following season as well. The club reached the final again the following year losing to AS Roma, enroute defeating Inter home and away in the semi-final. No other English club were to win in competition at the San Siro until Arsenal did so in 2003.
Finally in 1963, the club landed a major trophy. Even better the win, over two legs in the new-fangled League Cup (it will never catch on) was over local rivals Villa.
The club returned to the Second division in 1965, until Freddie Goodwin assembled a team built around Bob Latchford, and a young Plymouth born striker, Trevor Francis. Francis, who died this year, and was the country’s first million-pound player when he signed for Forest in 1979 was a quicksilver striker. He played against Argyle in their 1973/4 League Cup quarter final game, played in the 3-day week as a midweek afternoon kick-off. As a result, few Argyle fans saw one of the most brilliant strikes for Argyle’s winner from Steve Davey, from a Mariner (who else) flick -on. Mind, you neither did either Dave Latchford, the Blues keeper, or the Westward TV cameraman, who caught up with the ball as it nestled in the net.
Birmingman at the time were wearing their “penguin’ strip, with a broad white central stripe down the blue shirt. It is one of their most iconic trips, and certainly better than the effort created during their years of being sponsored by Triton Showers, where the splash marks on the strip were presumed to resemble a shower curtain.
It was also around this time that the Blues had their logo redesigned for them, after a contest, originally in 1972, in the Sports Argus. The City Council (allegedly populated by Villa fans) took issue with the club using the City coat of arms as their badge and banned them from using it. The new logo, a football on a globe with the club’s name beribboned around them has stayed till this day.
The club fell on hard times, and was acquired by Manchester based clothing magnates, the Kumars, but the Blues were far from at home with these owners, and their business fell casualty to the BCCI banking collapse. The club was acquired by the Daily Sport proprietors, David Sullivan and the Gold Brothers, who appointed a 24-year-old sales executive as CEO in Karren Brady.
Under Sullivan and Brady, the club was refinanced and rebuilt, during which time Brady, acquired, sold, married and then reacquired the Canadian striker Paolo Peschisolido. In 2003, with French international striker Christophe Dugarry leading the attack the Blues appeared poised for success, and Sullivan declared the club was on the brink of trophies. Despite signing Pandiani, Heskey and Pennant they were relegated in 2005/6, and shortly afterwards the owners decamped for West Ham (claret and blue being a more popular choice in those parts) and a Hong Kong businessman Carson Yeung took the helm.
Yeungs stewardship went about as well as these things do traditionally, and when he was convicted of money laundering in Hong Kong, the club entered that twilight world of existence whereby the ground suddenly “has to be sold” and our old friend Laurence Bassini attempts to buy you. In a bizarre twist ex Argentine international Maxi Lopes was part of a consortium that managed to announce they were running the club, despite never actually paying for it. The EFL stepped in and sanctioned the members of the consortium, and finally an American venture capital group bought a controlling interest, restored the ground ownership to the club, and, as well as bringing in superstar quarterback Tom Brady (no relation to Karren) as an investor/advisor, have allowed the club, managed by John Eustace, ably assisted by former Argyle assistant boss Keith Downing, to start the season unbeaten.
This has led to some strange sights, such as heavy Brummie accents chanting USA! USA! at the top of their voices, like some weird overseas Trumpian rally. If this trend spreads through the West Midlands one can envisage MAGA caps at the Hawthorns as the Make Albion Great Again (the second A may be superfluous) campaign begins, and Disney acquiring Aston Villa so they can brand the club Disney Villains.
That level of rebranding may seem far fetched. Ingratiating themselves, however, with the local fanbase, the new club owners called their company Shelby Associates, after the Peaky Blinder family and TV series created by a fervent Bluenose, Steven Knight. Seeing no irony in celebrating a set of characters whose exploits include violence, murder, extortion and in one case match fixing by intimidating referees, the EFL obviously waved the name through. The club had already rebranded as Small Heath for one game in February 2022 against Huddersfield Town, to commemorate the final series of the TV show. They lost two nil. More peaky than blinders.
At least the club believe they have removed the curse of bad luck, allegedly placed on the ground by gypsies who were evicted from the area to make way for the clubs new ground in 1906. The curse, which was supposed to last a hundred years and so should have expired in 2006 may well be apocryphal, but the ground has been bombed by the Germans, and then had the stand burn down after the firemen dealing with the blaze used petrol instead of water. Barry Fry, of course Barry Fry, tried peeing on the corner flags before each game (er, health and safety Barry?), and holy water was sprinkled on the pitch to little avail. The latest solution to this entirely imaginary problem was the blessing of the new dugout seats!
Argyle will arrive, in all probability still seeking an additional striker, and meeting a somewhat injury hit side, who may well have former loanee Sam Cosgrove on the bench. So that’s got last minute winner written all over it.
On the other hand, they should be buoyed by the fact they eliminated the club from the FA Cup en route to Chelsea a couple of seasons back with a glorious Ryan Law thunderbolt
So, it’s off to the second city, win those second balls, and bring home a second League win. Blinding.
COYG!!!!!
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